


You've Got No Idea

by StrawberryCheesecake (bhunks)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Lance (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Post S4, This was supposed to be a drabble, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, and keith came back from the blades, but with real shiro, lots of Spanish, then i got excited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 11:08:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14400888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bhunks/pseuds/StrawberryCheesecake
Summary: I'm bad at summaries BUTLance likes Keith. A lot. He vents by flirting with him in Spanish, which Keith doesn't understand, so it's like flirting without all the negative consequences.





	You've Got No Idea

“Hunk, this is so boring.”

“I know,” Hunk said, focused on a control panel he was messing around with.

“There’s nothing to do.”

“Sure there is,” Hunk said. “You could help Coran clean. Or help Allura with something. Or be really productive and go to the training deck, because we both know you’ve been slacking during the team exercises.”

Hunk had a way of making his voice sound friendly, but also had an annoyed or blank undertone. Today, it was annoyed.

“Yeah, I know. Sorry.”

“Just try next time, yeah? I don’t want your certain  _ distractions _ getting in the way of your everyday life.”

“Hunk!” Lance shot up from his position on the couch, glancing around the empty room. “You know the mice are everywhere. And anything they know, Allura knows. And anything Allura knows,  _ Pidge _ knows! And- oh god- what if  _ Shiro _ found out?”

Hunk didn’t even look up. “I understand your concerns, Lance, but they won’t unless you tell people. You flirt with everyone.”

“Everyone I think is attractive,” Lance corrected.

“So, everyone,” Hunk said, a wry smile on his lips. “And no one’s going to find out because you didn’t say his name.”

“But if the mice know it’s a ‘him’ and it’s not you and obviously not Coran or Shiro, there aren’t many choices left.” Lance flopped back down on the couch. “Life is so hard.”

“You could always just tell him.”

“Hunk, you’ve given me the same piece of advice for the last month. I can’t tell him! All my crushes turn out badly and they leave me. I can’t have that happen with him. Think of Voltron!”

Hunk clicked something into place and smiled at his panel, holding it out in front of him. “Voltron is already suffering if you can’t open your mind to everyone about everything. No secrets, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” Lance muttered, thinking back to Pidge, unable to share her mind because she couldn’t come out. “Maybe. Okay? Maybe I’ll tell him, maybe I won’t. But for now, it’s a secret-”

The door slid open and Keith and Pidge walked in. Lance’s heart jumped to his throat. What if they’d overheard part of that conversation? “Hey, losers,” Pidge said. “How’s that panel coming, Hunk?”

“Beautifully,” Hunk said. “I just finished it, actually.”

“What’re you guys doing?” Keith asked. He didn’t look uncomfortable, so Lance figured he didn’t overhear anything.

“Trying to make the computer in Pidge’s room work better,” Hunk said. “Why were you with Pidge?”

“He got lonely on the training deck,” Pidge said.

Now that Lance looked a little closer, Keith  _ was _ sweaty. And his stupid mullet was tied back in a stupid ponytail. Lance hated when he did that because of how much he liked it. “And you went to  _ Pidge _ for company?” 

He tried not to let the jealousy slip into his voice.

“She was the first person I ran into,” Keith said. “I would’ve gone to you or Shiro, honestly, and train against someone else.”

_ Absolutely not. You can’t do that. Sweaty Keith? Being with sweaty Keith? I don’t think so. _ “Maybe some other time,” Lance said instead. 

Keith just smiled. Pidge started talking to Hunk. Lance stood up a little too abruptly and said, “I have to leave.”

Keith frowned. “Why?”

Lance almost choked.  _ Why? Because I’m so head over heels in love with you that I can’t function when you’re in the same room.  _ “Hungry,” he said. “Swimming, maybe.”

Keith nodded. “Yeah, swimming is fun. Relaxing. Have fun. Maybe I’ll drop by if Pidge decides I’m too boring for company.”

“ _ Mierda _ ,” Lance muttered.

“What’s  _ that _ supposed to mean?” Keith asked, confused. 

“Nothing,” Lance said. “See you around! Bye, Hunk, Pidge!”

With the thought that Keith didn’t know Spanish, Lance allowed himself to explore the possibilities. He could talk to Hunk about it now, without the fear that the mice or anyone else could find out. He didn’t think Shiro knew Spanish. Did Allura and Coran know all Earth languages? Probably not. And Pidge,  _ if _ she found out, would keep a secret.

After Lance ate, he went upstairs to the pool, where Coran and Hunk had fixed it to have two settings- on the ground, and upside down. 

He was surprised when Keith was already there, swimming laps.

“Seriously, Keith?” He slid into the pool and waded towards him. “You’re doing laps?”

“There’s not much else to do here,” Keith said, wiping his bangs from his face. “I wasn’t sure if you were gonna be here, either.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Never mind,” Keith said, waving his hand. “Forget it.”

“That’s a solid way to make me think about it,” Lance said. He wondered if Keith could hear his heartbeat thumping against his rib cage. “Come on, Samurai. Race you.”

“To the end of the pool? I’ve already been swimming. I’m tired.”

“But you’re warmed up,” Lance countered. “I still have to get my head under,  _ lindo _ .”

Keith blinked. He laughed nervously and said, “What?”

Lance, who was currently regretting calling Keith cute, even in another language, said, “It means ‘shithead’ in Spanish.”

Keith stayed quiet for a minute, and then said, “Okay, then. Let’s race,  _ lindo _ .” And somehow, Keith didn’t butcher the words. And even if Keith thought he was trash talking, Lance knew that Keith had just called him cute.

Keith pushed from the wall and started swimming freestyle. “Cheater!” Lance yelled, and he started swimming after him. 

Unfortunately, Keith  _ did _ beat him, but Lance’s pride wasn’t able to take it. “You cheated.”

“I didn’t cheat. I got a head start.”

“If anyone’s getting a head start-,” Lance began to say, but then he closed his mouth and frowned. He didn’t want to imply that he needed a head start. “It’s gonna be Pidge. Because she’s the shortest.”

“Sure, Sharpshooter,” Keith said, still grinning. “I suppose you want to race again?”

“Nah, you’re probably too tired,” Lance said.

“You’re so kind,” Keith scoffed. “If you’re just gonna mess around, I’d like to get back to my laps.”

“Am I distracting you?” Lance thanked whatever deity was watching him for not letting his voice crack. “Sorry, Samurai. I’ll do laps with you.” And it was so perfectly genius because he got to spend time with Keith without actually talking to him. He could start looking for things that annoy him so he wasn’t so… infatuated.

But that didn’t really work out for him, because it became incredibly obvious that Keith had done swimming before. His movements were precise but slow, so he was trying to improve his stroke, not his stamina. He squinted at the far end of the pool. It looked like it was 25 meters, but it could be 30 or 35.

When Keith came back after going to the far end and back, he popped his head up, keeping the rest of his body in the water. “You  _ say _ you’ll do laps, but then you just stand here watching me swim?”

“I was  _ not _ watching you,  _ hermoso _ ,” Lance blurted.  _ Oh, a new one. Calling him beautiful, now? _

Keith’s cheeks looked faintly pink. “Do you hate me or something? Did I get on  your nerves?”

“I’m not mad at you,” Lance said immediately. When Keith just looked at him, face blank, he realized he was waiting for him to continue. “I’m… just speaking Spanish. Cause you don’t know it. Just for fun, you know?”

Keith smiled slowly. “Okay. So what does  _ hermoso _ mean?”

Lance, who has always been good at thinking on his feet, but not so much around attractive people, said, “B-baggy.”

“Baggy,” Keith repeated. He paused for a moment. “What’s the word for ‘dumbass’?”

“I am  _ definitely _ not telling you that,” Lance said. “You’ll just call me a dumbass all the time.”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to stick to calling you a shithead,  _ lindo _ .”

Lance chuckled nervously. “Call me  _ lindo _ all you want,  _ hermoso. _ ” Keith laughed and Lance felt accomplished when he said it without missing a beat  _ and _ coming across as not-flirting.

Keith convinced him to do at least a couple laps before going into the ‘locker room.’ Keith took a quick shower and tied his towel around his waist. Lance was just coming out of the shower when Keith was pulling his pants up over his boxers.

“Whoa, shit, sorry,” Lance squeaked, and he turned around quickly and coughed. “Um, are you decent?”

“I was decent when I was wearing boxers,” Keith said. “Yeah, you can turn around.”

Lance did, and Keith’s head was in the shirt he was pulling down over an impressive set of abs. He looked away as soon as Keith’s head came through the top. “Get dressed. Dinner is in like, twenty minutes.”

Lance shuffled over to his clothes and pulled on his towel knot, making sure it wouldn’t slip off. Keith was still putting on socks. “Can you- can you go to like, the other side or something?”

Keith snorted. “Sure, you giant prude.”

“I’m  _ not _ a prude-”

“Relax, Lance,” Keith said, shaking his head and smiling. He pulled on his boots and stood up, starting to walk around the corner. “I was joking.”

“ _ Tienes suerte de que seas atractivo _ !” Lance called, waving a finger at the empty air in front of him. “Take a wild guess what  _ that _ means!”

“See you at dinner, Lance!” Keith called back, and he heard the door close.

_ You’re lucky you’re attractive. _ Seriously? That was the best he could come up with? At least Keith didn’t know how embarrassing it was. 

The next day, Lance decided to go to the training deck because he enjoyed torturing himself. Sure enough, Keith was there, fighting two gladiators in his paladin armor. Lance stood there, watching Keith take them both down with a certain elegance in his fighting style that reminded Lance of cats. 

“Hey, Keith,” Lance said. 

Keith walked over to pick up his water bottle. “Hey, yourself. What brings you here?”

“I gotta train somehow, right?” Lance tried to smile naturally, but he probably looked like he was in pain more than anything else. “Besides, you can teach me a few things about sword-fighting. Allura is good, but she’s more focused on learning how to use her whip.”

“How about you get in your paladin armor and then I will,” Keith said. “Don’t want to kill you by accident.”

“The bayards have a ‘dull’ setting for a reason, Mr. Hothead,” Lance said, but he turned around anyway to get his armor from the room adjacent to the training deck. 

“I thought I was Mr.  _ Lindo _ ,” Keith called. 

Lance groaned and pulled up his hood, closing the door behind him. He slid against the wall and put his face in his hands. “You’re stupid,” he said to the table he was now glaring at. “So, so fucking stupid. And whipped.”

He only had a pity party for about one minute before he stood up and changed. He went back out to the training deck, where Keith had apparently decided he had time to fight another gladiator.

Lance’s bayard had transformed into a sniper rifle before he’d even pulled it up to aim. He looked through the scope for about ten seconds, and then fired.

The laser went right into the blue light, and the gladiator stopped. “Nice shot,” Keith said, turned around. “I guess we don’t call you Sharpshooter for nothing.”

“Was there ever any doubt?” Lance asked teasingly, changing the rifle to the Altean broadsword. 

“No,” Keith said simply. Instead of continuing that conversation, he moved behind Lance and put his hands over Lance’s on the hilt. “Hold it like that. And keep your footing light. You need to be able to move, or you’ll get blown to pieces.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lance said, but he did it anyway. 

Almost an hour went by and then Keith said, “Wanna spar?”

“Spar?”

“Like, fight. You know. A friendly match?” Keith raised an eyebrow at him. “Just to see how well you’re doing.”

“I can probably beat you really fast,” Lance said, moments before realizing how stupid that sounded. He wasn’t a good swordsman at all, even with the help from Keith. “Or I bet I won’t lose really fast.”

“You’re on,” Keith said. He got in a ready position and then advanced onto Lance, who decided to focus on defense and not even try for offense.

“You can’t block me forever,” Keith said. 

“I can try, though,” Lance said back, raising his sword to block Keith’s strike.

“Nah,” Keith said, and Lance froze when Keith tapped his chin with the flat side of the sword. “I don’t think so.”

“I want a rematch,” Lance said.

“Seriously?” Keith raised an eyebrow.

“ _ Mano a mano _ . Hand to hand,” he clarified. “No swords. Let’s see how you do without an extra long, super sharp arm,  _ hermoso _ .”

“It’s not sharp. Practice mode, remember?” Keith said, running his fingers along the edge that would normal slice them off. 

“Hand to hand,” Lance repeated, sheathing his bayard and moving back and forth on his feet like a pixel video game. “Come on. Let’s go.”

“Fine,” Keith said, and he put away his bayard, too. “But my fists are gonna hurt a lot more than a sword that feels like cardboard.”

“Somehow, I doubt it,” Lance said, and in a surge of confidence, he went on offense first. 

Unfortunately, Lance’s confidence didn’t last. Keith dodged everything- seriously, how was he so quick? Just how many hours had he spent on this training deck? And then he started to punched back.

Lance narrowly avoided the first two, but the third one went right to his stomach. “Ow, you  _ bitch _ !”

“All’s fair,” Keith said, smirking. He grabbed Lance’s arm and twisted hard enough that he went down on the floor, but not enough to hurt. “Guess I win-”

Except Lance rolled out of the way of Keith’s next move and hopped right back onto his feet. “Second wind, baby,” he said, throwing a couple punches just to freak Keith out.

“You won’t get a third,” Keith promised in a very threatening tone. “I got you on the ground once, I can do it again.”

“You can try,” Lance retorted. “But I’m good at this stuff. Fighting, I mean. I’ll get  _ you _ on the ground,” he said between breaths. 

And then in a cruel turn of events, Lance was back on the ground, except this time, Keith was on his stomach. Straddling him. Keith let out a small breath of air that could’ve been amusement. “Like that?” Keith taunted. His face was red from the exertion.

He pulled both of Lance’s wrists above his head. Lance stared into Keith’s eyes, which were wide, bright, happy, nothing like what it had been when he was with the Blade. Lance sighed and slumped. “ _ Ni siquiera sabes cuánto me gustas _ .”

Keith flinched. Lance thought he blushed, but he quickly blew off the possibility because no hope was better than false hope. “W-what does that mean?” Keith asked. He let go of Lance’s wrists, stood up, and offered Lance a hand.

“It means you’re good at fighting but also a little shit,” Lance answered, taking Keith’s hand.

“Yeah,” Keith said. “Okay. I’ll- I’ll see you at dinner.”

The next day, Lance was lying down with his head in Hunk’s lap while Hunk listened to Lance’s problems. “And then I said he doesn’t even know how much I like him.”

“In Spanish, right?”

“Definitely,” Lance sighed. “Thank god for small miracles.”

Keith walked into the room. “Oh, hey, Lance. Long time no see.” 

“ _ Hablando del demonio _ ,” Lance said to Hunk before sitting up and facing Keith. 

“ _ Demino _ isn’t that hard to translate,” Keith said. “Then again, you have been using a lot of Spanish to call me... weird things.”

Lance cringed when he remembered what he said  _ lindo _ and  _ hermoso  _ meant. “Well, you know. There’s only so many in English, right? Like, only a couple words. Y’know?”

Keith covered his mouth with his hand to hide his smile. “Well, don’t let me get in the way of you talking shit about me. Please, continue.”

Something about the way Keith said it annoyed Lance. “ _ Eres perfecto a pesar de que eres pequeño. Desearía que no pensaras que soy inmaduro o tonto. _ Okay, I think that’s it for now. Hunk?”

“Definitely enough garbage for the whole day,” Hunk agreed. 

Keith opened his mouth to say something, but then he closed it and frowned. Lance swore he was blushing. Was he upset because he thought Lance really was talking shit? “Never mind. I’ll find you later.” 

“Find me?” Lance asked, but Keith was already leaving. He looked at Hunk. “Do you think he’s mad at me for all the shit I’m saying?”

“He might be frustrated,” Hunk said. “Annoyed that you keep doing it.”

“He never asked me to stop,” Lance pointed out. He groaned. “And he wants to talk to me alone. Great. He’s probably gonna call me a dick and tell me I’m the single most annoying person he knows.”

“He won’t say that,” Hunk said. “Well. He probably won’t.”

“Not helpful, Hunk,” Lance said, sinking into the couch. 

Keith  _ did _ find Lance later. He knocked on Lance’s door at the in-space equivalent of 9pm. “Lance?”

Lance had been in the middle of reading some mystery book Allura translated and gave to him, but he stood up anyway and opened the door. “Yeah?”

“I gotta- I have to talk to you,” Keith said. He looked  _ really _ upset about something. Lance felt his stomach drop. “Can I come in?”

Keith’s voice sounded a little higher than usual. Lance didn’t think he’d  ever seen Keith this nervous. “Dude, are you okay?”

“Promise not to hate me?”

Lance blinked and stared at him for a moment. “Ominous,” Lance said suspiciously. “Why do I have to promise that?”

“Just  _ please _ promise me you won’t be mad. And that you’ll hear me out,” he added, like it was an afterthought.

“Okay, okay, jeez. Calm down. Yeah, I promise. I won’t get mad and I’ll hear out… whatever you’re gonna say.” Lance shifted nervously on his feet. 

Keith took a deep breath and looked at the ground. “I took Spanish at the Garrison.”

It took a moment for those words to register. “You- so you-” He felt like he was choking. He could  _ feel _ the heat radiating from his face, which was certainly red from the tips of his ears to his chest. “You know- some Spanish?”

He had a really bad feeling Keith didn’t know  _ some _ Spanish. “N-no, I’ve taken it for five years. Since… even before the Garrison.”

“Cool,” Lance said, because his brain had just shut down. He thought of the millions of stupid little things he’d said to Keith in Spanish-  _ You’re perfect even though you’re short. I wish you didn’t think I’m immature and stupid. You’re lucky you’re attractive. _

_ You don’t even know how much I like you. _

As it turns out, Keith had a pretty good idea of just how pathetic Lance was. Pining after a teammate for what- months? He had a  _ crush _ on him at the  _ Garrison _ , even if he didn’t realize that’s what it was at the time. Lance was pretty sure some tears were coming.  _ Fuck. Fuck! _ “Cool. Can you… Can you leave?”

“You promised you’d hear me out,” Keith insisted. Lance realized Keith was blushing. Full blown, flushed red and pink and every color in between blushing. “Are you mad?”

“No,” Lance said, because it was a lot easier to say than  _ I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at me, because I’m such and idiot and I made things weird and now you don’t even want to be friends and that’s why you were so nervous and you didn’t want to say it in front of Hunk, because you knew this was embarrassing- _

“I thought you were making fun of me,” Keith confessed. He forced himself to make eye contact with Lance. “I thought you knew and you were calling me that stuff because you knew I wasn’t- like, that I haven’t…” Keith squeezed his eyes shut, frustrated. “I’m not  _ romantically experienced _ .”

Lance was certain his brain had short-circuited, broke, fried, or something because there was no way Keith had never had a boyfriend. “Do you even know how many people wanted you at the Garrison?”

Once again. Talking before thinking. 

Keith frowned. “No. People were always staring at me and making fun of me for stupid shit. But that’s not the point-”

“They weren’t making fun of you. Trust me, they were talking a lot more about your ass than anything else.”

_ Oh my fucking god. _ Lance swallowed.  _ That was it. That was the last straw. Shut up. Shut up shut up shutupshut- _

“My… whatever, that doesn’t matter!” Keith burned an even brighter red. Lance thought it was cute that Keith was flustered over his ass. “I went along with it because I thought you were just messing with me. But then you started saying the longer sentences, and the… like, the really nice stuff. I still thought you were just in it for the long haul. But then… you said what you said on the training deck. And it hit me that you were actually sincere.”

“So if I hadn’t said that, this embarrassing conversation would never have happened?”

“Probably not,” Keith said, “because then I never would’ve worked up the nerve to come over and say what I really wanted to say.” He looked down again, like he couldn’t bear to even  _ look _ at Lance. “I flirted back because I like you.”

_ I flirted back because I like you. _

Lance started nervously laughing. At least he wasn’t about to cry. “Um,” he said eloquently.  _ What do you do when someone likes you back?  _ Lance was always the flirter, not the flirtee. “Really?”

“Do you think I’m lying?” Keith mumbled. He looked back up and crossed his arms. “I thought I was just another flirt-and-be-done-with-them deal that you have with the girls on the planets we visit.”

“I’ve liked you for a long time,” Lance said. At least he could form coherent sentences again.  _ Keith likes me. _ He felt… giddy. “Like, a long time. But you probably figured that out.”

“I hadn’t, but thanks,” Keith said. He brushed his bangs out of his face. “So. What now?”

“I’ve been in as many relationships as you have, buddy,” Lance said. “I’m all bark and no bite. Never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. So, I don’t know what now.”

And then, because Keith was impulsive and didn’t really think before doing anything (he and Lance would surely be the Shoot-First-Ask-Questions-Later power couple), he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Lance’s.

Lance had just gotten his brain working again, and then Keith does this? It took him a couple seconds to kiss back. It was messy and gross and probably really bad, but for two first kisses, it was nice. 

Keith pulled back. “I’m really glad you kissed me back. It was kind of awkward just standing there.”

“Sorry,” Lance said. “I was trying to think straight. So, that was fun. We should definitely do that again.”

“Yeah,” Keith agreed. “But now I have to go back to my room and think about how this day feels like a dream.”

“Or you could stay here,” Lance offered. “Just. Y’know. Two guys in the same bed.” 

Keith laughed.  _ That _ was something Lance could get used to. “Yeah, okay,” he agreed. “Come on. It’s past my bedtime.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic,” Lance said. He kicked off his pants and climbed into his bed, holding up the comforter so Keith could get in. “Hurry up, I’m cold.”

“I’m coming,” Keith said, rolling his eyes. He didn’t take off his shorts or shirt. “Wow. This is crazy. I’m sleeping in the same bed as you, but 24 hours ago, I was thinking about how much I liked you and how much you didn’t like me.”

Lance hummed and threw his arm over Keith, shuffling around his legs before stopping. “Do you… are you wearing socks? In bed?”

“It’s comfortable!” Keith protested. “I like socks a lot.”

“Whatever you say, Samurai.”

“Goodnight, Sharpshooter.”

“Oh, one second.” Lance gave himself a mini pep talk and propped himself up on his elbows. Keith rolled onto his back to give Lance a questioning look. Lance leaned forward and kissed Keith’s cheek.

He didn’t miss the flare of pink. “You can’t just do that!” Keith spluttered. “I- what-”

“Goodnight, Samurai,” Lance said cheekily, and he pulled the cord by his bed to turn out the lights. 


End file.
